


A New Purpose

by ShipsInAStorm



Series: A New Purpose [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Torture, My First Fanfic, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-24 15:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipsInAStorm/pseuds/ShipsInAStorm
Summary: Implied Spoilers - Set in tandem with 4X12What is happening to Agent May while her other self fulfils its purpose?Philinda focused





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing I was aware of was the cold.

The world was still dark but my senses were slowly tingling to life. Shudders built agonizingly under my skin only to fade down my spine, my limbs were like lead but I could feel the cool sheen of sweat on my skin, and the weight of the fabric in the places it soaked against my body. Using my Tai Chi training I tried to draw my full attention to individual parts of my body, probing them with my mind; to analyse and to evaluate – instead I seemed to flick a switch somewhere in my brain that sent my senses roaring to life.

The wall of pain hit me all at once. My lungs were on fire. Every muscle, every nerve in my body was in spasm, protesting painfully. At first all I could think of was the pain, my head pounded relentlessly but then there were flashes – hallucinations, _memories?_ – Coulson, a smile, a promise…Radcliffe, Aida…Fighting, stumblingly… unnatural images, synthetic…A little girl, a fight, a victory / _a failure, her failure, so much blood, so much pain/_ -no-…Mission accomplished, safety, the warmth of the tiny little girl curled up next to her, Andrew’s voice over the phone…Andrew…/ _leaving, walking away, a broken marriage, a broken wife…so much pain/_

It was the sound of an echoing crash that tugged me into a higher level of consciousness, somewhere above the turbulence still rattling deep inside my head. My awareness was drawn outside of my body, to my surroundings, it was cold…there were voices…

_-Dude, seriously! Be careful – she could wake up!_

_-What, are you seriously afraid of a half-dead, tiny Asian woman? Besides, the guys in the lab put her down with that stuff we’ve been using to take out the inhumans – they had medical on standby because they were half sure if the stuff didn’t knock her out it would probably just stop her heart completely_

_-Tiny Asian woman? Dude this is the fucking **Calvary** we’re talking about here, if she got up she could probably take out the whole base!_

_-Yeah, well that’s a pretty big if from where I’m standing – and I’m no psychic but I don’t see myself getting my ass whipped from some drugged up ex-super-ninja currently being carried in a stretcher in the near future_

I could almost hear the smug smile on that asshole’s face. They continued to bicker back and forth uselessly, the Asshole and one who called me the Calvary. Even in a semi-conscious state, years of training had my mind automatically storing the facts; I was being held captive somewhere, I was in bad shape, I had been drugged, the enemy had a base and staff, I was being carried and guarded by at least two men. Waves of pain and nausea scattered my thoughts and I tuned back into the voices of the men carrying me as I clung to consciousness.

_-…I’m not saying we can’t handle her like this but why risk moving her in the first place?_

_-Nadeer made some sort of deal with the scientist guy, Radcliffe, he wanted our little prisoner here and a private lab in return for giving her full access to the LMD tech, she seemed to think it was worth the trade_

_-Don’t you? Dude, have you not seen them strength testing the new LMD guys? They are BAD. ASS. We could have our own army of super soldiers, the inhumans literally won’t know what hit them_

_-It’s not the trade I have a problem with, that Radcliffe guy and his RoboGirlfriend give me the creeps. I don’t like the idea of him having a private lab, God knows what he’ll dream up next – but hey, if he wants to take this little drain on resources he can be my guest, probably wants her for spare parts or something – maybe RoboGirl’s just not doing it for him anymore…_

I was almost grateful for the final spasms of pain and nausea as they pulled me back down into the darkness and away from the sound of the voices as they continued their musings on my fate.


	2. Chapter 2

I thought it was another loop.

My eyes struggled to open, the lights were too bright; searing through my eyelids even as I squeezed them shut. But it made no sense, the loop seemed empty. This was the fourth time I had woken up in this place; the blinding lights, the sterile smell of artificial clean - but I remained immobilised. At first I thought it was fear, combined with a certain amount of stubbornness, leaving me too terrified to move, to be drawn into whatever mind game this loop had in store for me. Then it occurred to me, the irregularities; I could remember, when my awareness gave way my mind sank into a confusion of memories, hallucinations maybe, but not propelled into the jarring _sameness_ associated with the loops. This realization brought with it both relief and fear; this could be my chance to escape but where was I, where was my team, where was Phil…

**PHIL**

_You mean a lot to me. A lot._

_What are we waiting for…_

_Did you mean it, when you said you were ready for whatever comes next?_

 

“Coulson?”

He jerked into awareness at the sound of the familiar voice, Daisy. He could see her trying to refrain from flicking her gaze around the room, taking in destruction he had caused when he had finally been left alone. Instead, she took in the mess in front of her; he had stopped working long ago but still, he sat slumped over his desk – now free of its usual clutter thanks to his earlier outburst. He had broken things, he had cried, he had torn through every file he could get his hands on that could possibly produce a lead and finally he had just sat at his desk; her words reverberating around his skull and the ghost of their kiss still lingering on his lips.

Picking up an upturned chair, she dragged it to sit across from him. He didn’t ask if she had any leads and she didn’t ask how he was; they both already knew, it was bad. The silence weighed heavily on both of them.

“She’s tough”, Daisy finally offered, half a reminder to herself. He looked up to meet her eyes, ringed red from tears as he’s sure his must be. She looked so young this way, vulnerable. She had already lost one mother, and he knew how much she looked up to Melinda, how close the two had grown. When he opened his mouth to speak it was to offer words of comfort, but nothing would come until he choked out the three words he had been biting back for half his life.

“I love her”, fresh tears sparkled to life in Daisy’s eyes as he spoke, tears that were probably reflected in his, “I let her down and I need her back and I love her – and now she might never know”. The weight of the admission seemed to drain what strength he had left in his body, as he shrank back into his chair, catching his head in his hands. But Daisy rose to her feet, and he looked up at her as she stood over him, a steely determination so like her mentors’ falling over her features – “We will find her. And you will tell her. And then she will know. And we’ll make sure she never forgets”. He rose to follow her as she marched to the door. She before opening the door, before they left their feelings with all other broken things in this office;

“I love her too”.

But for now, there was work to do.

 

**MAY**

_“… Doctor I still think it’s unwise to risk lifting her sedation”_

_“Yes AIDA, and those are valid concerns but it’s a necessary risk; such strong sedation is supressing her immune system and she’s going to need to be as strong as possible if she’s going to come through this procedure”_

I had been aware of the voices for a while, but it was only now they were beginning to make sense as my mind raised into a groggy consciousness. Radcliffe was around more often lately and when he was, it usually meant pain. Considering that, the word procedure echoed back through my mind; if I could move I’m sure a shiver would have rippled down my spine. The familiar sound of the surgical trolley rattled somewhere to my left and something sharp was pricked unceremoniously into my arm. This is where things usually began to fade. Well, there was usually a flurry of other activities, and some painful poking and prodding that made me miss Simmons’ more gentle doctoring. But today was different. Instead of sinking back down into the darkness, the now unfamiliar sensation of sensation flooded my body, it brought with it all kinds of agony but I soon found my eye fluttering uncontrollably until I finally managed to raise my heavy lids.

Radcliffe was beaming down at me from his place beside my gurney. The urge to claw that stupid smile from his face was primal and immediate but all my body managed to do was produce a series of painful spasm.

_“Now, now Agent May, you must be careful, Doctor Radcliffe wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself”._

My dulled senses hadn’t picked up on AIDA’s presence at the other side of my gurney. My gaze travelled away from her false smile and down to the array of equipment on the trolley beside her

. “What..are y-you doing….with me”, the effort of speech seared my lungs, and the weakness in my own voice horrified me. Radcliffe shushed me in a way that was probably meant to be reassuring, reaching out to press me back against the bed as I struggled to rise, AIDA’s far less gentle grip quickly taking his place.

_“Don’t worry Agent May, things will be so much better soon”._ Radcliffe’s deluded smile was more terrifying than anything I’d seen on the surgical trolley. _“When I saw what had been done to you in Nadir’s care, your body broken and brutalised, your mind far too advanced to be contained by the Framework, I knew I had to do something. It would be a crying shame to see such a fine warrior meet such a wasteful end. I couldn’t let you back into the hands of SHIELD, however grateful dear Agent Coulson would have been – but I could give you something far, far better: a new purpose._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know if you're enjoying x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweetly angsty but necessary!

**DAISY**

 

One minute.

That’s all I got, but it was enough to keep me going for another 20 hours each day. Standing outside the door to May’s bunk once again I paused hesitantly at the door before stepping inside. I didn’t bother with the light, heading straight for the bed tucked into the corner of the room. The memory of the last night I had spent in here with May, if it had even been the real May, played through my mind into the darkness.

It had been a hard day and I had found myself outside her door, I don’t know how long I was standing there trying to work up the courage to knock when the lock clicked softly, switching from red to green. When no one emerged, I gathered myself and pushed open the door, letting it click shut behind me. She didn’t say anything, just gestured wordlessly to the bed and continued fixing tea from a small electric kettle on her desk. I was tempted to leave, apologise for disturbing her but I soon found a warm mug pressed into my hands as May started to talk… about nothing. She settled in the chair beside her desk and I found myself relaxing back into her bed. The conversation was easy and the silences were comfortable and I found myself feeling lighter than I had in months. I’d subsequently fallen asleep, propped up comfortably by a pillow. When I joined May in the gym for our morning routine, I arrived red-faced and more than a little embarrassed but was met by nothing out of the ordinary, besides a surprisingly soft smile.

But now there was no May. Laying on the familiar bunk, I felt the weight of the weight of too many long days pressing down on me, the stress of the past two weeks in her absence like a physical thing in my chest. Despite myself, I found my eyelids drooping closed, not able to move and not particularly wanting to. I fell asleep knowing that in the morning there would be no soft smile, and no May.

 

**PHIL**

 

It was an exceptionally bad idea. Everyone was pushing beyond their limits to find May, Daisy was damn well working herself into the ground, now was not the time to fall back into weakness. Even so, my legs continued to carry me through the darkened corridors, until I came to a stop in front of a familiar door. It was almost enough – and I almost managed to walk away – until I noticed the door stood ever so slightly ajar. Slipping inside, my heart squeezed painfully in my chest. A little bit because the room looked so infuriatingly the same. And a little bit because it still smelled overwhelmingly like her. But mostly at the sight on Daisy’s scrunched up form curled at the top of the bed, her arms wrapped protectively around a pillow, looking so heartbreakingly similar to the woman they both loved. Sitting in the armchair beside the desk, I closed my eyes, thinking of all the times I’d sat in this exact spot. Sometimes with tea, sometimes with scotch, more often than not with a smile, but never without May.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget those kudos if you're enjoying x


	4. Chapter 4

**DAISY**

 

We’d been driving for over an hour. Coulson gave no indication as to how much further we would be travelling but I assumed we were getting close, as he visibly began to relax, his grip no longer white-knuckled on the steering wheel. It had been three weeks, for us anyway, we still had no idea how long the Real May had been gone for. Training my eyes on the thinning landscape flashing outside the window, I tried for the millionth time to push that thought from my head. I had to believe she was alive, we all did but prisoners are hard to keep; some like Agent May infinitely harder than others. Thinking about the price she might be paying for her survival often kept me awake at night.

Coulson had his own way of coping. With leads rapidly running dry, he was clutching at straws. Our current expedition was one of those straws. It was well into the early hours of this morning when I had found him hurriedly rummaging through one of the supply rooms, tossing things into a go-bag as he went. His reasoning was sound enough; in that we had to consider every and all possibilities in a situation like this. One of those possibilities was that May had escaped by now and is on the run. And if that was true, Coulson knew the first place she’d go.

It turned out May had a cabin – or more importantly, a storage bunker beneath a cabin. It wasn’t operable as a safe house but it was fully stocked and supplied for emergencies and Coulson was one of the few people that knew about it. One of the team’s latest security protocols was that no-one went anywhere alone, he knew this already, it had been at his insistence but a desperate man paid little heed to regulations. It took all I could do to convince him to put down the bag, sleep for a few hours and let me go with him in the morning. Still, he had been waiting for me, in the same suit from the night before long before anyone else on the base had stirred. With little else to go on, their excursion was a logical move. I didn’t voice my theory but part of me felt like this mission was driven by Coulson’s need to feel closer to the woman that seemed to be slipping further from his grasp. To be somewhere he knew she had been, to be surrounded by her things – I knew because I felt it too.

Silence had fallen comfortably between us shortly after we set off on the road; both of us in our own worlds, yet most likely sharing the same thoughts. May’s cabin was set on the outskirts of a small town a few miles north of the base, nestled in the treeline at the edge of the sparsely populated village. We’d lost all reception a while back, when nothing but countryside stretched out on either side of us.

“It’s not much further now, maybe another 40 minutes or so”.

As he spoke, I felt my phone buzz to life; an insistent stream of vibrations as all the data that had been lagged by the poor reception began to flow through. Coulson’s device seemed to be undergoing a similar process as it tremored around the centre console. Looking up I caught his worried gaze just as the speakers crackled to life, carrying a familiar but somewhat panicked voice. I knew the SUV was fitted with emergency coms but they’d never been used. Not until Mack’s worried tone filled the car and my heart plummeted to the depths of my stomach.

_“Come on, come on, come – Sir? Sir are you there?”_

“Mack – Mack, slow down you got me, what’s going on?” Coulson reached instinctively for his phone but switched tact, turning a small dial on the dashboard, bringing the voice over the intercom into clearer focus.

_“Sir, I need you back here, ASAP. I’ve been trying to get in contact for nearly an hour. Turbo’s freaking out – I’ve never seen him like this – something about Radcliffe and Jemma but I just don’t know, I can’t get a straight answer out of him, he’s just not making any sense”._

“Where’s Jemma in all this? If there’s anyone that can calm him down it’s her?”

_“That’s just it Sir, no one’s seen her all day, the lab is a mess but there’s no trace of her –“_

Coulson was already slamming on the breaks, sacrificing his left-hand mirror to the treeline in his haste to turn as Fitzs’ strangled voice came over the line.

**“It’s May, it has to be May, Jemma hasn’t been working on anything else! She was studying samples last night, I got up this morning and her stuff was in the lab but I can’t find her - ”**

“Wow, slow down Fitz, what do you mean it’s May, what’s May?” The sudden jolt of the SUV seemed to unstick my voice from my throat.

**“In the lab, Jemma found May’s blood in the lab”.**

 

**MAY**

 

_… Something is wrong, so very wrong, it’s like the whole world is beneath my skin, swirling around my skull. Sometimes I get as far as the blackness, just above it all, but it always drags me back down… I’m not really sure if I’m still alive… Maybe they_ did _kill me, Radcliffe and AIDA..._ Something – like the memory of a memory – flashed through my mind, the pain, I could almost feel it – and then – I could almost feel… Just as quickly as they awoke my senses were channelled back into the darkness once more.

When I woke up next, my body was on fire and my world was on fire and I knew I wasn’t dead – If not for very long.

 

**PHIL**

 

“Alright, ENOUGH!”

It had already been 10 minutes since Daisy and I pulled into the hanger. The team were already gathered in the training room; a tactical decision. It was well equipped and closest to the exit. That appeared to be where their good decisions ended as they relentlessly babbled over one another until I cut across them all.

“Fitz…” I fixed my gaze questioningly on the young scientist, giving him a moment to school his thoughts, the strain etched into his pale features. “Just start from the beginning, once more”.

Taking a short, shuddering breath he began; “We have a blue solution in the lab, we spray it on the slides we re-use so we can see if there’s any trace amount of organic material left on them that could compromise samples - ”

“Fitz, the very start…” I had almost forgotten the younger agent’s presence as Daisy spoke up from behind me. Fitz paused as she held his gaze, whatever passed between the two seemed to calm him as he began again.

“Jemma was cleaning the lab last night, sterilizing and re-setting the equipment; the only thing she had left to do when we left for the night was spray the slides with the blue solution and leave them to develop. When I got up this morning she was already gone, so, I headed to the lab to meet her but – but when I got there, there was no Jemma but she’d clearly been working on something. I started to look around and – and I…” His eyes shone with tears and his voice faltered. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Mack took over.

“There were two screens open on the biotech console. One was running a DNA match and the other was replaying the security footage of the lab from yesterday. There was a lot of that blue solution and those slides strewn around and a whole load of science-y stuff that I couldn’t make heads or tails of but the system matched May’s DNA from trace amounts of blood found on one of the slides – and besides Jemma and Turbo, Radcliffe was the only one in the lab yesterday”.

I barely heard the end of his sentence over the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears. Every set of eyes in the room were now trained on me, waiting for my response but my throat was thick and the words just wouldn’t come. I was grateful when Daisy finally spoke.

“So, Jemma caught Radcliffe with blood on his hands and now she’s…” Her voice trailed off and the dreadful potential of the situation was just beginning to sink in as an unfamiliar car screeched to a halt just outside of the hanger and a bedraggled Dr Simmons stumbled through the door.

She looked tired and flustered but her eyes shone; “I think I know where she is! I think I’ve found agent May… But we’re going to need a pilot, and a tactical assault team”.


	5. Chapter 5

**PHIL**

 

There was a collective sigh of relief as Jemma stumbled through the doorway. She looked tired and a little banged up but she was alive and she was here. Fitz was by her side immediately but her eyes were fixed on me.

“…But we’re going to need a pilot, and a tactical assault team”.

The promise of a plan, of actually being able to _do_ something, kicked my brain into high gear. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one affected this way. Watching Daisy step up and take action so efficiently mixed a little bit of pride in with my already chaotic mess of emotions.

“Fitz, go make Simmons some tea,” the young scientist looked like he wanted to protest but Daisy’s determined gaze left little room for argument.

“Jemma, I know a lot must have happened but for now, just tell us what we need to now”. I tried to put it as politely as possible but the true meaning of my words still rang clear. _I only care about what will help get May back._

Jemma gave an understanding nod as Fitz bustled back through the door, pressing a steaming mug into her hands. Fitz muttered quickly to her before she could begin; _I already told them about Radcliffe and the blue stuff and May’s…_

At the mention of the agent’s name Jemma cut across him, setting down her mug and pulling Fitz’ laptop towards her and entering something before she turned the small screen around to face the rest of the team. “After finding evidence that linked Radcliffe to May’s disappearance, I was going to inform you straight away but an opportunity presented itself. Ugh, it’s a long story, not really important but anyway – I went to Radcliffe’s house; if he was home I could claim to be looking for Fitz, if he wasn’t, and I thought that was likely the case, I could snoop around. I was trying to get through the side entrance when I heard a car pull into the garage. It was Radcliffe - he didn’t stick around though, just switched vehicles and left. I didn’t manage to get a tracker on the car but once I was inside I used Radcliffe’s tech to tail the car through satellite and surveillance footage. It led to a facility, seemingly empty of civilians or occupants but it’s heavily guarded and drawing a hell of a lot of power from the grid”.

“Jemma – how do we know this even has anything to do with - ”, my words died in my throat when Jemma produced a wad of black material from under her arm. It bore no resemblance to the last time he had seen it but it was undoubtedly May’s leather jacket – and it was stiff from the dried blood that covered most of it. Words wouldn’t come, there were no words really and I was grateful for a moment to collect myself as Jemma continued.

“The image your looking at is a satellite view of the compound and surrounding areas. I gathered as much information as I could but planning ops isn’t really my wheelhouse.”

“Don’t worry Jemma, you did great”, Daisy’s tone was gentle and kind but it disappeared as the Agent Johnson May had trained so well took over. “Fitz, I’ll need you to compile footage from all the sources closest to the compound that you can. Mack, go with Fitz, assess what we’re up against and what we’ll need. Simmons already mentioned needing a pilot so I’m guessing an aerial breach is looking like our best bet”. She paused only long enough to get a confirmative nod from Simmons. “A compound like that has to have some form of digital security, I’ll see what I can hack my way into. Coulson that leaves - ”

“The tactical assault team”, a wonderfully terrible plan was beginning to take shape in my mind, “I know just the people”.

 

**RADCLIFFE**

 

I was just beginning to run the latest samples from our unwilling patient. Her vitals were unstable, had spiked so badly this morning that I had been forced to rush here. The equipment was still calibrating when the lights went out and the gentle whirring of machinery stalled, leaving a heavy silence. The back-up generator should have kicked in straight away – nothing would interrupt that failsafe, unless…

“Doctor, S.H.I.E.L.D just hacked our system, they didn’t breach the hard drives but cutting the power only makes sense as a tactical move. They’re coming for us, we need to get you to safety”.

“Prepare the patient for transport, I’ll grab as much data as I can and wipe the rest - ”

“Doctor, there is not time”, grabbing my arm, AIDA turned me to face her, a remarkably human gesture. “There is no more we can do, what’s been done has been done. Getting caught by S.H.I.E.L.D would be a death sentence, for us, but for agent May – there are no lengths Coulson and his team wouldn’t go to in order to get her out alive. We leave her here, Coulson will extract her, we escape and watch the experiment unfold from a safe distance”.

I knew what she was suggesting – I also knew it was the right, if not their only, option. If they were going to leave, it had to be now. Coulson couldn’t be far off and Agent May would already be coming out of sedation due to the lack of power. With AIDA at my heels, I only had one stop to make before we were off this compound, on the road and hopefully out of S.H.I.E.L.D’s way. Grabbing the first security agent I could find, I gave my final order:

“Agent Coulson and his team are coming to take Agent May – I want you to let them, but when they’re done, I want you to burn this place to the ground.

 

**DAISY**

 

The severity of the situation did nothing to stop me geeking out when I saw them. They were here. In the flesh. The incredibly, incredibly attractive flesh. The limited pictures of Hawk-Eye I’d seen had done the man no justice. And even just watching Black Widow walk sent chills down my spine. But as I watched her walk straight up to Coulson, I thought I would need help picking my jaw off the floor as the sharp sound of a slap rang through the air.

“The next time my best friend gets kidnapped, don’t wait three weeks to call”. As she stalked off to join the rest of the team gathering weapons for the op, Hawk-Eye clapped Coulson on the shoulder, “She must have a real soft spot for you, didn’t even break anything”.

Within a few minutes, we were all set and ready to go. I was loading the final ICER when Coulson put his hand on my arm to stop me. “I need you to stay here – don’t fight me on this, please, I need someone who can hold the base until we get back”, tears of both frustration and heartbreak stung behind my eyes as he added, “I need to know I’m bringing her home to somewhere safe”.

Over his shoulder I could see Romanoff, Barton and Jemma piling into Lola. “What the hell are you doing?!” I called out as Coulson joined them. The question had been directed at him but it was Romanoff who answered;

“What the hell does it look like we’re doing – we’re going to get our girl back”.

 

**MAY**

 

I’m not sure how long I’d been awake for before I could finally concentrate enough to decipher the argument I could hear from the other side of the door.

_“… I don’t care what our orders are, I’m not waiting around for S.H.I.E.L.D to roll through and take us all out. I say we do what needs to be done and we get out.”_

The mention of S.H.I.E.L.D drew my attention into sharper focus. From the sound of it, Radcliffe knew he’d been made and left his thugs in charge, he should have known better. Typical mercenaries; you could pay them to kill but you can’t pay them to die. Waiting until their voices faded and I was sure the coast was clear, I began the slow and painful process of trying to get up. It was even harder than I expected – and I was expecting it to be pretty hard. As I finally struggled into a seated position and tried to turn, a wave of pain and nausea blurred my vision and sent me crashing to the ground. It was too late by the time I realised what was happening; what the guards were doing, why nobody had heard me as I fell – I noticed the smoke billowing under the doorway just seconds before the blast shook the world around me and the last of my strength slipped away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning here that this chapter errs on the side of being graphic and has a little bad language but there isn't an excessive amount of either

They were almost in the all clear – and technically still following orders. Radcliffe had said to let S.H.I.E.L.D take his pet project from the medical wing and make sure any evidence of whatever the hell he had going on up there was destroyed. More important however, were the two things he didn’t say: he never said they had to die in the process and he didn’t explicitly mention needing the woman to be alive when she was retrieved. Given all that, there was one obvious plan, blow the building to shit and leave S.H.I.E.L.D collect their girl from the rubble.

The last of the explosives were set and the men piled into the trucks, nobody wanting to be left the poor bastard manning the fuse. They were just waiting for the final few men to clear the building when they heard it, the whirring of an engine, barely audible but definitely getting louder, closer. Bewildered gazes were scanning the perimeter but their surroundings were still. There was a flurry of activity as their remaining men came running around into view from around the southern exit. The sound of keys turning in ignitions rippled through the group and the convoy started to peel away, the first of the trucks clearing a path as it smashed through the gates. Those on foot were close enough now that the men in the waiting vehicles could see the panic in their colleague’s eyes as one by one they toppled, arrows bursting through from the back of their heads. A shout went up and chaos erupted;

“FUCK THOSE BASTARDS, LIGHT THE GOD DAMN FUSE AND STEP ON IT!”

The drivers were momentarily distracted by the sight of red corvette descending from the clouds, just above the building, and then subsequently by the piercing rounds fired by the lone bowman standing on its hood. The ground shook as the blast emanated from the structure and their aerial attackers were obscured in a thick plume of smoke. The final driver turned his key in the ignition just as a final arrow shot through the window and into his skull.

 

**MAY**

Everything was burning.

I could feel the heat, it washed over me in waves and although the tiles burned painfully against my abdomen, the oppressive heat that surrounded me had me pinned to the floor. The smoke searing my lungs stung at my eyes and the wreckage around me was reduced to a fiery haze of bright flames and muddled darkness. Willing every last ounce of strength I had to come together I strained to move towards the clearing just ahead of me, where door had been blasted from its hinges, taking half the wall with it. The effort had me gasping for breath, drawing in nothing but burning mouthfuls of smoke that scattered my consciousness. It was all too m

uch. Everything hurt and everything burned and with every shaky breath I could feel myself slipping further and further into the blackness that was closing around the edges of my vision. There had been screaming, it had rang in my ears as I awoke into the inferno of destruction. I could still hear it as my nightmares blended into the crackling of the flames around me, screaming, gunfire, the echoes of a thousand battles playing through my ears as the smoke addled my brain, and then… _Melinda_ … Yes, if this was it, the end, that’s all I wanted to hear. I gave into the hallucinations as Phil’s voice reached my ears, letting my eyes droop shut, I could see him behind my eyelids, a dorky smile and the sparkle in his blue eyes that no flame could ever burn from my memory, after all, it was the face of the man I loved… _Melinda can you hear me_ … Phil’s strangled shout was followed by a series of hacking coughs, as though he were chocking on – smoke. Listening more closely now, I could hear the muffled sounds of a fight, cries of exertion and hurried footsteps and Phil… calling. A small stirring of hope and the prospect of him close by steeled what little I had left inside of me. Closing my eyes once more, I concentrated on the light in those familiar blue eyes and tried to block the agonising pain that threatened to overwhelm me, feeling the tearing of my seared skin against the floor as I began to crawl forward.

 

**Phil**

Despite my gloves, my hands were almost frozen to the wheel by the time the GPS signalled that we were almost at our destination and I began our descent through the clouds.

“Get ready”, I called over my shoulder, the wind whipping my words away as soon as they left my mouth.

“Don’t worry Coulson”, I could barely hear Clint as he called from behind me, “we know a thing or two about making an entrance”.

Glancing in the rear-view mirror I barely caught the brief smile he flashed at Natasha before launching himself over the windshield. He rolled onto his knees on the hood of the car, arrow notched and bow at the ready, already firing as we broke through the clouds.

Our entrance certainly didn’t go to waste on the unsuspecting crowd below. Flying low over the south fence, Clint’s well aimed arrows had those still left on their feet running around the side of the building, heading for a convoy of vehicles gathered at the northern gate. The roof of the facility was fast approaching and I gave the engines one final thrust of power before the wheels began to turn in preparation for landing. The crash of the convoy breaking through the northern gate pulled my attention and left me tugging blindly at the wheel as the structure below us imploded. I could just about see Clint through the plume of black smoke as he dove over the hood of the car just before we hurtled over the edge of the crumbling roof.

I engaged as many of the emergency safety measures I could but the force of the abrupt landing sent both of us tumbling out of the car as Lola’s impact defence features absorbed the shock of the fall. My ears were still ringing from the blast and the air rushed from my lungs as I collided with the hard earth. As I rolled to a stop I could feel the blistering heat emanating from the building behind me and the unmistakable sound of gun fire up ahead. Before I had the chance to think Natasha was pulling me to my feet, her weapon already drawn, shoving me in the direction of the building she shouted over her shoulder;

“I’m still seeing arrows flying, me and Clint got this, go, quickly”. I didn’t need to be told twice.

The force of the explosion had blown the glass from all the windows, providing me with a clear entrance point. Clambering over the rubble, I threw myself through the only gap in the flames I could see. It was impossible, the smoke was quickly filling my lungs and there was nothing left in the burning structure that could anchor me to the blueprints I had studied.

“MELINDA”, I knew it was useless, the shifting of the burning structure swallowing my words.

A flash of something in the darkness ahead of me caught my attention, as the flames licked over it again, I glimpsed the large metal door crumpled among the rubble. It was definitely out of place, not just because it had been blown from the wall but because it didn’t belong in a building like this, it would look more at home in a lab _or a prison._

“Melinda!” I was already rushing forward as the thought crossed my mind. Calling her name again and again as I choked the putrid smoke from my lungs, I pushed forward. I could see an opening just ahead of me, the remnants of what was previously a doorway and barely registered my feet snagging beneath me until I started tumbling forward. Stumbling blindly, I used my robotic hand to break my fall, immediately regretting it as the impact travelled beyond the prosthetic and I felt a sickening pop in my shoulder. My head was spinning and dislodged debris was beginning to fall around me but it was as if the whole world stilled as I heard it; the softest whimper and a sharp exhale of breath.

Pushing blindly forward, through rubble and smoke and pain, I stumbled through the opening in the wall. The only light in here came from the flames that were licking up the wall and across the ceiling. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I crouched and felt my way around the rubble, a collection of dislodged brick and searing metal and then… something soft, something so _impossibly soft_ among all this destruction. There was a loud crash from somewhere down the hallway that sent a shudder through the unstable structure and despite the falling debris I was never so grateful as the sunlight filtered through the cracks in the crumbling ceiling.

She was face down in a small clearing on the floor, her arm outstretched, fingertips bare inches from the opening in the wall. As I crawled closer to her I could see the soot congealing in the bloody trail she had dragged across the floor. Reaching for her, I tried to be gentle but my hands shook violently as I turned her, drawing her hair away from her face with my good hand. I didn’t notice the presence of another in the room until a shadow fell from behind me. Crouching protectively in front of her my gun was drawn and I almost fired before the familiarity of the face of the man in front of me registered in my mind.

Blood had matted most of Clint’s hair to his skull and ran in ragged streaks down one side of his face. His hands were raised in front of him, his mouth slightly open as though about to offer reassurance but his gaze was fixed hauntedly over my shoulder. I can’t imagine my expression was much different as I gathered Melinda’s tiny form against my chest. She had always been small, delicate even behind her strength but now, she was sickeningly fragile in my arms, her shrunken frame disturbingly still. Hissing at the pain in my shoulder, I balanced her carefully as I rose to my feet.

“Phil, let me, we need to move fast - ”, Clint’s hurried words died in his throat as he gestured for me to hand her over and I drew her instinctively closer, unable to speak. With an understanding nod he cleared a path forward, the structure still crumbling around us as we made our way towards the exit. We had barely cleared the building when a series of loud crashes signalled the roof of the structure collapsing in on itself.

I was only vaguely aware of where we were going – not even able to spare a glance at Lola as Clint led me towards one of the trucks. Natasha was still beating one of the guards against the hood of the car when they approached but she immediately stilled as she caught sight of her friend. Moving quickly she pulled open the back of the truck so I could lay Melinda down, still supporting her gently as I tried to blow steady breaths of clean air into her lungs, her chest collapsing uselessly after each one. My heart jumped a little as I saw tear drops appear on her cheeks but as they continued to fall I realised that they were mine, streaming hotly from my eyes only to fall cold against her cheeks. Sobbing furiously, I desperately blew another lung full of air into her mouth and fumbled until my hands found the right spot on her chest. I could hear the sharp intake of breath from both Natasha and Clint as I pushed against her chest, only to be met by the sickening crack of her ribs beneath my finger-tips. My body froze, hovering just above hers as blood sputtered from between her lips and then – she drew a shaky breath, and then another. Natasha was talking urgently behind me but her words never reached my ears. The sensation of the truck roaring to life startled me and I managed to meet Clint’s hopeful gaze as he guided me into a seated position and wedged himself next me before carefully drawing Melinda across both our laps, keeping her safe and steady between us. Natasha was speaking urgently over the comms as we sped away from the compound but the only thing I could focus on was the minute rise and fall of Melinda’s chest, counting each breath as a blessing as the woman I love fought to stay alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about such a long delay! Really hope you like this chapter, you'll get to see their journey back to base in the next chapter but please let me know what you thought of this instalment x Thank you again for all the amazing feedback so far

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so feedback is always appreciated! I don't have a Beta so I apologise in advance for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy :)


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